“What deserves to be my first post?” I questioned, while floating on my cloud of enthusiasm for this website. I didn’t have to search for long, because I knew the water droplets responsible for the cloud I floated on, it was ‘King Women.’
King Women joins the list of astounding African contents emerging on YouTube. It is an ‘interviewesque’ series by the filmmaker Kemi Adetiba on Accelerate TV, which focuses on the story of Nigerian women who have attained a level of status in their society or field. I know, I know, another one of these talk shows? No, this is not another one of “those” talk shows, this one sets itself apart based on authentic storytelling alone. The talk show shatters the culture of silence encouraged among Nigerians by discussing the struggles of being a woman in regards to loss, abuse, love, family, religion and much more. The subtlety of the lessons passed across in this series is what I love the most about it; it doesn’t pound the same old tired cliches of how to’s, but shows you real stories of women who followed or defied cultural or societal standards. Whatever you learn from them is on your own terms. Here are some of the lessons I’ve gotten from these Queens:
Being Fearless is not devoid of Fear; it’s taking actions despite fear. This series highlights women who devoid of several limitations, have evolved into recognizing their value and pursuing their paths, come what may. Ayodeji Megbope’s grass to grace story is an example of tethering on the fence of being fearless as she talks about realistic struggles she faced on her journey to grace.
“I believe you make your luck… You take your own journey, nobody is going to lead you anywhere, and If you spend your time waiting for someone else to do it for you, you’re wasting time.~ Taiwo Ajayi-Lycett.
Bars! Explaining further will take away from the magic of this quote. The nuances and subtexts of that quote is both frightening and powerful, because with great power comes great responsibility. In our culture which sees women as an extension of a man’s life in someway, it is powerful to know you are not – to get moving on your own journey. Ohh and by the way, a husband is not a back up plan to not achieving your own purpose, Keep developing yourself.
Children are humans too. I’m not sure why that needs to be said, but it does need to be said. They have developing, inquisitive minds that soaks up information while critically trying to make sense of their worlds. Pretending, hoping and praying they are shielded from the experiences going on around them is naive; in retrospect they absorb the unhappy, toxic environment created by their caretakers.
Every woman in the series talks about how significant the influence of their parents were in their lives. In fact, any one of the episodes is a good narrative and ambassador for adults to respect children more.
Religion is a personal Journey, get on your path.
I got a little jealous listening to the relationship some of these women in this series have with their spirituality. More and more people are skeptical about the significance or importance of believing in a higher power, and the testimonies of these women in regards to their faith were remarkable. One thing for certain is most of them had to go on their own journey’s to understand and connect with their spirituality and Ty Bello’s episode was one that really stood out in that regard.
Sexual Abuse is a prevalent problem in our Nigerian society.
A disturbing amount of children are abused in our society. This is evident by the surging numbers of adults, just now having the courage to reveal their stories. There’s been 8 women interviewed in this series so far and more than half of the women in this series have been victims of sexual abuse. Better laws need to be put in place especially in regards to the Statue of limitation and the climate for victims speaking up about abuse needs to improved.
Marriage is Great and all, but making your partner your life will eventually break you.
Learning to put myself first was a road that took a while to navigate through. Accusing myself of being selfish was one that significantly delayed getting to the destination. The people we love are extensions of how we feel about ourselves; If I am not fulfilled those relationships will eventually suffer. Remi Fagbohun’s story, especially of her mother was an emotional reminder that depending on someone else for your happiness is not realistic, especially when that burden is placed on one person. Remi Fagbohun’s story is one of my favorite episodes and you might want to start from hers in case you didn’t already start the series.
You can find the complete series at